The Cost of a Village Funeral

Unfortunately even this logic won't work, our partners have no logic or sense when it comes to our funerals.

Only funerals???

I am not sure we can blame our partners. When we pass, the family and neighbours all arrive within minutes and virtually take control of everything. Within an hour the tent is up, cooking equipment and chefs have arrived, food has been purchased, dozens of monks called in and so it goes on. By the time the wife/partner realises what is happening it is too late to stop it.
 
Only funerals???

I am not sure we can blame our partners. When we pass, the family and neighbours all arrive within minutes and virtually take control of everything. Within an hour the tent is up, cooking equipment and chefs have arrived, food has been purchased, dozens of monks called in and so it goes on. By the time the wife/partner realises what is happening it is too late to stop it.


Whenever I have tried to discuss my wishes for my funeral the glazed look that comes over Wood's face tells me he has turned off and isn't listening.
Our partners have seen enough funerals to know what is happening and don't want (for reasons of face?) to stop it.
I'll never know if he has seen sense so there's no point in me worrying about it - it just riles that it's money he should have for his future.
 
Only funerals???

I am not sure we can blame our partners. When we pass, the family and neighbours all arrive within minutes and virtually take control of everything. Within an hour the tent is up, cooking equipment and chefs have arrived, food has been purchased, dozens of monks called in and so it goes on. By the time the wife/partner realises what is happening it is too late to stop it.


At the end of the day our partners are Thai - and you know, only too well, how they can revert to 'Thainess'. I am sure that wittingly, or otherwise, we act as a check on that Thainess whilst we are around.
 
Whenever I have tried to discuss my wishes for my funeral the glazed look that comes over Wood's face tells me he has turned off and isn't listening.
Our partners have seen enough funerals to know what is happening and don't want (for reasons of face?) to stop it.
I'll never know if he has seen sense so there's no point in me worrying about it - it just riles that it's money he should have for his future.



I don't think that the Thais can discuss death in the same way that we can. Most of our partners are Buddhist and they firmly believe that death is just a step into the next life (which always seems like it is going to be better - I have never known anyone come back from tambooning at the wat and saying that the monks told them that their next life would be worse than the current one!).

I have told Jip that whatever she spends on a funeral is less money for her. Whilst Thais ARE money conscious (and sometimes driven by money) they do seem to readily understand that funeral costs are depleting money for their future. I think they would rather deal as they see fit with the funeral - and then worry about the future. We did see one widow who had a slightly lavish funeral in the expectation that the UK government would cover the cost; her late husband had told her "don't worry, when anything happens to me just go to the British embassy in Bangkok and they will take care of you"........ she fell for it.... hook, line and sinker!


Colin, I don't think that Wood, Dow or Jip (as examples) would ever see the need for 'face'. As I said earlier, there may be a perception (and pressure from others) that they should have a funeral that befits your status and standing in the community. At the end of the day we cannot control what they do after we are gone and I no longer give the matter any thought. I used to get wound up about it but I know that Jip will be adequately provided for and if she wants to spend more than is sensible on funeral - up to her.
 
Best to move back to our country of birth and pull the whole funeral nonsense out of their hands...and lay on our country kin.:rolleyes::D:p
 
Thai-bashing at its best. You choose to look down on them for celebrating someone's life after their death and accuse them of unwisely spending their money.
You spend too much buying cars, you spend too much building homes, you spend too much on entertainment, you spend too much on booze, you just spend too much but they are bad and should be looked down upon.

Really?
 
Thai-bashing at its best. You choose to look down on them for celebrating someone's life after their death and accuse them of unwisely spending their money.
You spend too much buying cars, you spend too much building homes, you spend too much on entertainment, you spend too much on booze, you just spend too much but they are bad and should be looked down upon.

Really?

The moaning, groaning, whinging and complaining. Never really ends.:confused:

I surmise it's exactly the reason why we live here too. :p
 
Thai-bashing at its best. You choose to look down on them for celebrating someone's life after their death and accuse them of unwisely spending their money.
You spend too much buying cars, you spend too much building homes, you spend too much on entertainment, you spend too much on booze, you just spend too much but they are bad and should be looked down upon.

Really?

I believe it's the merit-making gestures and grand celebration to send the deceased out in style along with the fireworks and let Heaven know this is a worthy soul.
So please try to be nice and reincarnate the deceased as something or somebody decent...not a slug or a toilet seat. ;)

Additionally the relatives don't want the ghost to haunt the family with "you cheap SOB, f**king kin yeow" and assorted for the remainder of their years.
 
The moaning, groaning, whinging and complaining. Never really ends.:confused:

I surmise it's exactly the reason why we live here too. :p
Not at all for me. I live here because I met my wife here and fell in love. I like it here and like the people that live in my surrounding area as well. I don't feel the need for groaning, whining and complaining, I'm just happy about most things.
Everything else is up to you...
 
Not at all for me. I live here because I met my wife here and fell in love. I like it here and like the people that live in my surrounding area as well. I don't feel the need for groaning, whining and complaining, I'm just happy about most things.
Everything else is up to you...

Exactly. And I've been told I always take the side of the Thais on this forum understanding there are no Thai members on this forum to rebuttle.

Top four reasons for me residing in LOS after sixty:
1) Thailand allows me to reside here without a heavier tax burden than my own country
2) So far it's been affordable understanding everything is subject to change
3) Affordable healthcare for an uninsured American
4) Less stress

The reasons above weren't even in my thought process ten years ago except possibly 'less stress'.
 
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Exactly. And I've been told I always take the side of the Thais on this forum understanding there are no Thai members on this forum to rebuttle.

Top four reasons for me residing in LOS after sixty:
1) Thailand allows me to reside here without a heavier tax burden than my own country
2) So far it's been affordable understanding everything is subject to change
3) Affordable healthcare for an uninsured American
4) Less stress

The reasons above weren't even in my thought process ten years ago except possibly 'less stress'.
I think 10 years ago, most had different thoughts and maybe circumstances?

I certainly did and seem to remember you had a few ‘interesting’ experiences too.


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Thai-bashing at its best. You choose to look down on them for celebrating someone's life after their death and accuse them of unwisely spending their money.
You spend too much buying cars, you spend too much building homes, you spend too much on entertainment, you spend too much on booze, you just spend too much but they are bad and should be looked down upon.

Really?
There is one thing @ Mario, in celebrating someones life, with family, friends and those that cared. Quite another in spending money on monks, the wat and all the village freeloaders, who never gave a fcuk about you, especially when you have specifically said this rabble are NOT to be included.
 
There is one thing @ Mario, in celebrating someones life, with family, friends and those that cared. Quite another in spending money on monks, the wat and all the village freeloaders, who never gave a fcuk about you, especially when you have specifically said this rabble are NOT to be included.


I am not sure why @Mario would think that a Thai funeral is a celebration of someone's past life.

Anyone with the basic knowledge of Thai culture will understand that it is all about the next life. In the Thai tradition, a funeral is a way to symbolize one’s rebirth into his or her next life, thanks to the Buddhist belief in reincarnation. As such, funerals are a time to celebrate.

If anyone thinks that pointing out the stupidity of spending money you haven't got on a funeral, to satisfy the expectations of others, is Thai bashing - think again. The Thai language includes such idioms as khon tai khai khon pen (คนตายขายคนเป็น, lit. "the dead sell the living"), referring to the act of hosting expensive funerals plunging living descendants into debt.
 
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