Teachers' Report Card Comments

[AussieBill]

Teachers

These are actual comments made on students' report cards by teachers in the New York City public school system. All teachers were reprimanded (but, boy, are these funny!)

1. Since my last report, your child has reached rock bottom and has started to dig.

2. I would not allow this student to breed.

3. Your child has delusions of adequacy.

4. Your son is depriving a village somewhere of an idiot. (my favorite...)

5. Your son sets low personal standards and then consistently fails to achieve them.

6. The student has a 'full six-pack' but lacks the plastic thing to hold it all together.

7. This child has been working with glue too much.

8. When your daughter's IQ reaches 50, she should sell.

9. The gates are down, the lights are flashing, but the train isn't coming..

10. If this student were any more stupid, he'd have to be watered twice a week.

11. It's impossible to believe the sperm that created this child beat out 1,000,000 others.

12. The wheel is turning but the hamster is definitely dead.

 

[johnb]

A delightful Maths teacher in my school once wrote about a pupil in his exam class, "We have both failed but at least I tried."
Not unkind like most of the 12 above but telling.

 

[Yorky]

A teacher from New York who was teaching English here in Surin, stated something like this in referring to the exam results of his (female) students: "40% of you scraped through the exam and are likely to move forward to next term. The other 60% should be considering from where to obtain the Pat Pong bus fare".

Not surprisingly he was sacked. Some of you may remember him.

[Edit: Surindra Rajabhat University]

 

[Merlin]

Geography report: This boy does well to find his way home from school each day.

 

[Croc]

PC in Belgian schools : don't get upset your kid was the last in his class, we create a new class where he can be the first.
And this is not a joke, I overheard this conversation between a head-teacher and said kid's parents !!!
Happened in the 80ties when socialism was at it's peak in Beliumstan.

 

[nomad97]

There are seven countries in Central Asia with the suffix "-stan": Kazakhstan, Tajikistan, Uzbekistan, Kyrgyzstan, Turkmenistan, Afghanistan, and Pakistan. The suffix comes from the Persian root istan, or "land"—hence the "land of the Uzbeks," "land of the Kazakhs," and so forth. We now need to add to the definition and put Beliumstan on the list, the "land of the Belium".